I Didn’t Learn the System Because I Wanted To. I Learned It Because I Had To.

All of my kids have struggled in school in different ways.

My oldest is 20 and has ADHD.
My 16 year old has ADHD, a speech impairment, and a specific learning disability.

I’ve been navigating this for a long time.

But when it came to my youngest, Martha, it was different.

Martha is autistic and an “eloper” - she runs off and has no regard for her safety.

And I realized quickly that I needed to do more.

Not later. Not eventually.

Right now. Yesterday.

Safety changed everything

Martha elopes. She runs. And not in a way where you can just call her back.

She will keep going as if something else took over her.

A couple of years ago, she ran from school and got lost.

That moment stays with you. It did with me.

Because it is not just about school anymore - it is about safety.

I am talking about REAL safety issues. She will dart off without noticing cars.

She does not always understand danger in the moment.

So when she leaves a classroom or a campus, it is serious.

I couldn’t wait for the system to figure it out

I had to figure it out.

What supports exist?
What services are available?
What can the school legally provide?
What should I be asking for?

I started learning, because I had no other option - not because I wanted to become an advocate or lose many hours of sleep researching what to do.

I started learning, because I needed to make sure my child was safe.

This is what people don’t always see

When a child runs, it gets labeled as behavior.

But that does not explain it - at least not completely.

Is she overwhelmed?
Is she trying to get somewhere that feels safe?
Is something triggering her?

Those questions matter.

Because if you don’t understand why it’s happening, you can’t actually prevent it.

The stakes are higher than people realize

This is not about compliance. This is not about “following rules.”

This is about a child who could run into a parking lot without looking for cars.

This is about a child who could leave campus.

This is about a child who needs support that matches the level of risk.

I learned to advocate, because I had to

I learned about IEPs.
Assessments.
Supports.
Services.

I learned how to let the school and service providers know, when something wasn’t enough.

I learned how to ask better questions. I didn’t have the option not to.

Why I do this work now

No parent should have to figure this out alone.

Families are trying to keep their kids safe, while also being told to trust a system they don’t fully understand.

That is a hard place to be. I’ve been there.

And I know how much it matters to have someone help you sort through it.